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Starting kindergarten is exciting, but also a bit scary! There are new classrooms, teachers, routines, friends and rules. Children must sit still for longer periods, focus on math and reading and mind their own behavior. The large elementary school may also feel overwhelming compared to the smaller settings of preschool.

If your kindergartner seems tired, cranky, clingy or more emotionally reactive than usual, you are not alone - this is completely normal. Every transition brings some level of confusion and instability.

Why does the transition feel so big?

Kindergartners (typically ages five to six) are still in the early childhood phase of development. This means that they are more independent than toddlers, but are still developing key social, emotional and cognitive skills.

A few things make this transition especially hard:

First, moving to elementary school means new routines. Many children are losing their afternoon nap and moving away from the rhythms of play-based preschool. For others, kindergarten is the first time away from their parents for such a long period of the day.

Second, kindergarten is a whole new social world. Children must navigate new play groups and friendship expectations, as well as new relationships with teachers. These early relationships matter a lot for how safe and successful they feel at school.

Third, the kindergarten of today has greater academic expectations than ever before. Children are asked to focus longer and complete more structured reading and math work.

What can parents and caregivers do?

Transitions require the whole family system to reorganize and adapt. Adjustment takes time, but there are practical steps you can take as your child navigates the beginning of the school year:

• Prioritize sleep: They may be more tired than usual at the end of the day. Overtired kids have a hard time regulating emotions and focusing. Early bedtimes are a must.
• Support emotional needs: Clinginess and meltdowns are normal ways children express anxiety. Set aside time to play or cuddle so their body feels safe and calm. They may need more affection and reassurance than usual.
• Get to know their teacher: Children are more successful when parents and teachers have a happy working relationship. Ask about classroom expectations and routines so you can reinforce them at home. Likewise, you can help the teacher get to know your child.
• Normalize feeling scared: The transition to kindergarten is a great opportunity to talk about things we all deal with: What if I feel left out? What if I need help? Let your child know it’s okay to feel nervous and teach them how to navigate these complex situations.

Most importantly, supporting your kindergartner starts with supporting yourself. Give yourself time to adjust to new routines and the changing expectations of your new role as an elementary school parent.

About the professor

Jennifer Mortensen, Ph.D., CFLE, is an associate professor in the College of Education & Human Development at the University of Nevada, Reno, who studies family and child processes in the context of early childhood education.