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CONFLICT
Conflict: a fight or war; a sharp disagreement, as of interests
and ideas; an emotional disturbance.
Conflict is a normal part of human existence-a harsh word, a spat,
an argument, a fight, a war-all human beings face conflict.Conflict arises in all human interactions, between spouses, intimate partners, friends, roommates, nations. Conflict is common in the workplace.
Conflict may be internal as well as external.Conflict arises from different wants and needs, differing beliefs and values, different and strongly held opinions.
Conflict is fueled by the need to be right and to get the other
to admit that he/she is wrong.
Conflict is often viewed as bad and uncomfortable, something to be avoided at all cost.Personal fears, poor self-esteem, and inner doubts interfere with conflict resolution.Conflicts are painful because most of the time they go unresolved.
Dealing with conflict:
In an attempt to resolve conflict, many people resort to recrimination,
intimidation and humiliation tactics.
These tactics do not resolve conflict. They do increase pain.Conflict resolution skills can be learned. Using them, we can come away from any dispute with a winning solution and a better, stronger relationship with the other person.
10 Steps for Resolving Conflict
- Set a specific date, time and place
for a meeting within the next week. Allow at least 30 minutes.
- Select one important issue you would
like to resolve.
- Consider how you contribute to the
issue.
- List attempts to resolve the issue
that were not successful.
- Brainstorm. Pool your new ideas and
try to attain 10 possible solutions to the problem. Do not judge
or criticize any of the suggestions at this point.
- Discuss each of these possible solutions.
Be as objective as you can. Talk about how useful and appropriate
each suggestion might be for resolving your disagreement.
- After you have expressed your feelings,
select one solution that you both agree to try.
- Decide how each will work toward this
solution. Be as specific as possible.
- Set a date, time and place within the
next week for another meeting to discuss your progress.
- Pay attention to each other as the
week passes. If you notice your partner making a positive contribution
toward the solution, praise his/her effort.
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